中国式爱情 Chinese Style Love
2009-12-24 15:08:19 作者：美 侯德凯 来源： 浏览次数：0 网友评论 0 条
选择对象是一件非常难的事情，尤其是要找到合适的。我觉得每个国家的人都很重视选择爱人这件事，可是不同国家的人想法又不太一样。以找太太为例，有的国家的男人喜欢找爱玩儿的太太，可是有的国家的男人却喜欢找勤劳的太太。
选择对象是一件非常难的事情，尤其是要找到合适的。我觉得每个国家的人都很重视选择爱人这件事，可是不同国家的人想法又不太一样。以找太太为例，有的国家的男人喜欢找爱玩儿的太太，可是有的国家的男人却喜欢找勤劳的太太。我想知道中国男人希望找什么样的太太，就利用假期了解了一下。
和其他的亚洲人一样，中国人比较重视家庭。要当一个好太太，首先要做到的就是能够很好地照顾家人，既要当个好妻子也要当个好妈妈。中国过去有一种说法：“男主外，女主内。”意思是说，妻子的主要工作就是照顾丈夫和孩子。现在，时代变了，越来越多的女人在重视家庭的同时也非常重视自己的工作。她们不但要努力地照顾好自己的家庭，还要努力地工作，所以现在又有了一种新的说法——“女强人①”。
我认识一个中国朋友，他是一个水球②运动员。他主要在北京工作，而且常常在国内外飞来飞去，可是他的家在上海，他的太太和孩子都在那边。他的太太是个老师，一边工作，一边还要照顾孩子，很辛苦。每次提起太太，我的朋友都是既心疼又骄傲。由此看来，我觉得现在的中国男人找对象的时候，一方面要看她们是不是温柔③，一方面还要看她们的工作能力如何。
除了想知道现在的中国男人喜欢什么样的太太外，我还想知道大部分的中国人是怎么认识他们的爱人的。我了解到：以前，大多数中国人都是通过父母或者朋友介绍认识自己的爱人的；现在，越来越多的人用很多新的方式交朋友、谈恋爱，直到结婚。我问我的另一位朋友是怎么认识他太太的，他说他们认识的经过很有意思。他以前的女朋友是一个空中小姐。原来，因为常常坐飞机，他看到了一位很可爱的空中小姐，于是他就想认识她，所以每次乘飞机他都不停地向她要饮料。终于，有一次在喝完10杯水以后，他如愿以偿④地跟那位空中小姐说上了话。他们成为恋人以后还在一起学习计算机，可是他们很快就分手了，主要是因为他们两个都太忙了，没有太多的时间在一起。有意思的是，慢慢地，他跟教他计算机的女老师交上了朋友，而这位老师最后就成了他的“女强人”太太。他既学会了计算机又找到了太太，这真是一举两得⑤啊。
当然，不是每个中国人都会跟他的老师结婚的，中国人还会用很多别的法子认识他们的爱人。有的是在工作时相遇的，有的是在学校里认识的，也有的是在网上的聊天室⑥认识的！所以我的问题有很多不同的答案。
It is very difficult to find one’s better half, especially a suitable one. I think people from all over the world attach great importance to choosing a husband or wife, but people from different countries have different ideas about it. Take finding a wife for example: in some countries, men like wives who are great fun; in other countries, however, men prefer wives who are hardworking. I wanted to find out what kind of wives Chinese men prefer, so I did some research in the holiday.
Like other Asians, the Chinese regard their family as very important. A good wife, therefore, should, first of all, be able to take good care of her family, striving to be a caring mother as well as a devoted wife. There is a Chinese saying—“Man takes charge of external matters and woman takes charge of internal matters”, which means that the main task of the wife is to look after her husband and children. Now times are different. More and more women, while attaching great importance to their family, attach equal importance to their job. They are not only trying hard to take good care of their family, but also working very industriously. So, now there is a new phrase—“superwoman”.
I have a Chinese friend who is a water polo player. He works mainly in Beijing, but his family lives in Shanghai. So he often flies between Beijing and Shanghai and also abroad. His wife is a teacher. It is very hard for her to do her job and look after their child at the same time. Every time my friend mentions his wife, he feels both sorry and proud. From this I can see that nowadays when a Chinese man looks for a wife, he wants to find one who is both gentle at home and competent at work.
Besides finding out what kind of wife a Chinese man seeks, I also wanted to know how most Chinese people get to know their husband or wife. I learned that in the past most people got to know their husband or wife through their parents or friends. Now more and more people find their boyfreind or girlfriend, date each other and get married in a variety of new ways. I asked another friend of mine how he got to know his wife. He said it was an interesting story. His former girlfriend was a flight attendant. He used to travel by air a lot. Once a very lovely flight attendant caught his eye. As he was eager to making her acquitance, every time he saw her on the plane, he would keep asking her for a drink. Finally, to his heart’s content, after drinking the 10th glass of water on one flight, he succeeded in striking up a conversation with the girl. They took computer courses together after they became lovers. But they soon broke up mainly because they were both too busy to spend much time together. What is interesting is that gradually he struck up a friendship with the computer teacher who eventually became his “superwoman” wife. He learnt how to use a computer and found a wife at the same time. This is really a two-birds-with-one-stone story.
Of course not every Chinese marries their teacher. The Chinese have many other ways to get to know their husband or wife. Some meet at work, some at school, and some in the chatroom on the Internet! So there are many different answers to my question.
词语 Glossary
①女强人nǚqiángrén: superwoman
②水球shuǐqiú: water polo
③温柔wēnróu: gentle
④如愿以偿rú yuàn yǐ cháng: to one’s heart’s content
⑤一举两得yì jǔ liǎng dé: killing two birds with one stone
⑥聊天室liáotiānshì: chatroom